Current:Home > InvestSelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -Trailblazer Capital Learning
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-13 04:28:07
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (82)
Related
- Chuck Scarborough signs off: Hoda Kotb, Al Roker tribute legendary New York anchor
- Princess Kate appears at Wimbledon amid cancer battle: 'Great to be back'
- Spain and England to meet in European Championship final in front of Prince William and King Felipe
- Jaguars, Macaws and Tropical Dry Forest Have a Right To Exist, a Colombian Court Is Told
- EU countries double down on a halt to Syrian asylum claims but will not yet send people back
- Jaguars, Macaws and Tropical Dry Forest Have a Right To Exist, a Colombian Court Is Told
- Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco Reveal Who Said I Love You First in Cute Video
- Apple app store consumer class action set for February 2026 jury trial
- Finally, good retirement news! Southwest pilots' plan is a bright spot, experts say
- Republican National Convention in Milwaukee has law enforcement on heightened awareness
Ranking
- See you latte: Starbucks plans to cut 30% of its menu
- ‘Demoralizing day’: Steve Kerr, Steph Curry on Trump assassination attempt
- 'Dr. Ruth' was more than a sex therapist: How her impact spans generations
- Man gets life in prison over plot to rape and murder famous British TV personality in case cracked by undercover U.S. cop
- House passes bill to add 66 new federal judgeships, but prospects murky after Biden veto threat
- Books similar to 'Fourth Wing': What to read if you loved the dragon-filled romantasy
- Fears grow about election deniers' influence after bizarre decision in Nevada race
- World population projected to peak at 10.3 billion in 2080s, new United Nations report says
Recommendation
Appeals court scraps Nasdaq boardroom diversity rules in latest DEI setback
Map shows states where COVID levels are high or very high as summer wave spreads
Jury in Alec Baldwin Rust shooting trial sent home early
Alec Baldwin thanks supporters in first public comments after early end to trial
NFL Week 15 picks straight up and against spread: Bills, Lions put No. 1 seed hopes on line
Minnesota Republican Tayler Rahm drops out to clear path for Joe Teirab in competitive US House race
Biden meets virtually with Congressional Hispanic Caucus members as he fights to stay in 2024 presidential race
‘Demoralizing day’: Steve Kerr, Steph Curry on Trump assassination attempt